summer math

Today I asked Gage to do some math homework.  I know, I'm a terrible, cruel mother to do this less than 48 hours after school ended for summer.  But I did.  

Now, I'm not going to go into the whole story about how he got 99 out of 100 correct in 6 minutes and 45 seconds when there were a full 10 minutes allocated to the test, and then proceeded to throw a complete tizzy fit because of his utter imperfection.  Or that the problem he missed was 9+8=16 when just three lines above he got 8+9=17 correct.  Or that we had JUST spent a good amount of time reading his report card and discussing that the smartest and most accomplished of people make mistakes.  And then learn from them.  And that one of his goals for next year is to understand that making mistakes is acceptable and even encouraged.  And I'm definitely not going to get into how this all makes me pull my hair out because I wonder if it's something that we've done to make him such a damn perfectionist or if he simply inherited that inescapable gene from his whack job parents.  (No offense to his father).

Nope, I'm not.  Instead I'm going to teach you the math that was not on the test but we learned just a few hours later.

child #1

+ summer vacation day #2

= positive strep diagnosis in 2010 #3

How's that for some math?

urgent - missing south florida woman

So I know this is generally a happy place, and I also know that I don't get all that many hits here, but I feel compelled to write this post tonight.

I met Lynda Meier in 1987 in Oxford, England.  I lost touch with her many, many years ago but facebook reconnected us just a few weeks ago.  I learned today via facebook that she went missing on Friday, last seen driving out of her Hallandale Beach apartment in her red 2007 Cadillac Escalade. A day later, two women were photographed by a security camera using Meier's credit card at a Wal-Mart in unincorporated Miami Dade County near Miami Lakes.  No one has heard from her since Thursday night.  She is a single, 40 year old woman.

I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish here, and I honestly don't know much about Lynda's current life.  I just know that if I went missing I would hope that everyone I had touched in my life did SOMETHING to help find me.  Anything.

This is the most recent sun sentinel article about her disappearance.  Please share it in any way you feel comfortable.  Thanks!

two boys and a menorah

It all started when Gage's brand new friend, who's family just moved here from Texas, spied our something shiny on the bookshelf.  

friend: What's that thing on your bookshelf? 

me: Which thing?

friend: That gold thing?

me: That's a menorah.  It's a traditional candle holder in the Jewish religion.

friend, turning to gage: You're JEWISH?

{mind you, have you seen our pasty white, blue eyed, toe-headed son?}

gage:  Yes, I'm Jewish.  My dad is Jewish.  And my mom is.... 

{even he is stumped}

friend: Christian?

gage: yeah, Christian

me : {quiet while we all assess the situation}

friend, to gage: So do you believe in Jesus?

gage, without pause: Who's that?

me: {wanting to say... honey, people can believe in Jesus in many different ways. But reminding myself that he is SIX YEARS OLD and his parents are NOT HERE... and not knowing what in the world else to say} honey, we don't really talk so much about religion in our house.  CLEARLY.

They moved on.

Case closed.  

But is it?

Our children hail from two very proud, and very different backgrounds.  Their ancestors and grandparents are followers of both the Jewish and Christian religions.  

They have been to services for the High Holy Days (of course the local Temple holds their chidren's services in a nearby Church... go figure) and have partaken in Passover dinner. They've lit the candles on the menorah and can sing the blessing.  The hunt for Easter eggs and their stockings get filled by Santa on Christmas Eve.  But they've never been taught religion.  Just tradition.

Now please, do not judge.  Because, you see, I do not judge you.

But I did start to evaluate our children's exposure to religion and why our son has no idea who Jesus is.  It seems we've talked about God and all of the possibilities that go along with life on earth.  We've talked about inequality and injustice and, in a manageable sense, the persecution of the Jews.  But I'm thinking that's pretty much as far as we've gotten.  (Other family members feel free to raise hands if this is incorrect.) I suppose, in all fairness, I should say, that's as far as I'VE gotten.

We have good friends that observe Shabbat every Friday and attend Hebrew School.  Others that would never miss Church or Bible study on Sunday.  But no one really talks about it.  And I like that.  No, I love that.  Is that so terrible?  I love that my friends are all different and that no one gives a damn.  I love that my life and my social interaction is not influenced by the God I choose to worship.  Or not.   But I think we've just been thrown a curve ball.  

Like I told Gage's friend, we don't talk about religion in our house... but maybe we should.  Give our children the tools that they need to take the spiritual path that's right for them when the time is right.  Because clearly, mom and dad aren't driving that carpool.

my incomplete life. by gage.

Please tell me I'm not the only mother that takes notes when her child goes on a wild rant?  I honestly had NO idea where this was going to end up but when he started with "my life is just not complete" I just started typing.  Apologies for any typos.  He talks fast and, truth be told,  I really just don't feel like editing right now...

my life is just not complete

I mean, every day I feel that i don't need my life perfect ... but it's not complete
I don't need everything.
I just need everything I want
it just doestn't feel complete
maybe i just feel like I'm missing like two things in my life

me: what are those two things?

maybe just one

me: what is that one?

my life is just not complete without one thing
it's not really something in my life
well it's half something in my life and half something to relax in
it's not a toy
I won't be able to get it
some day I will feel my life is complete
I probably will never be able to get it
Well maybe some day

me: what is it?

i don't want to tell you
all i would do is give you hints and you would say no, you're probably not going to get it

me: is it a phone?

no, that's not important in my life
you kind of need a computer
do you need a computer?
you don't need it but it's good.  it helps you with a lot of stuff
that was like... remember when i was deciding between 1 or 2?
a computer was #2
then I decided what's specific in my life that I am missing
what am i missing in my life?
i bet you don't understand
well if I didn't have a house that would be the #1 thing I'd be missing
if i didn't have a family that would be #1
i'm talking about nature and stuff that i'm missing
not like a phone
do I need a computer?
i'm just too embarassed to tell you what I'm tihnking of
i mean you can guess but...

me: you want a pet elephant?

mommy!
not something specific

me: you want love?

have you ever heard me run out of my room saying i want a pet elephant?
i already have love

me: i know you do

what do i need?
i mean it's not really something i need
i'll give you one hint
oh i can't tell you it will give it away
oh nuts
there is so much hints  i could give you but it would give it away
and i don't know if you would say yes

me: try me

what? try you?

me: just tell me straight out. don't give me a hint.

I'll spell it out for you but you can't say it even if you know it
i might spell it wrong but I bet you'll get it
I'll just spell the first word
T.R.E.E

me: is there any place at daddy's house to put one?

he doesn't have any trees
I was going to say that there is a TV show that has one - you know on arthur - it's not in their back yard - it's in a place that's close to their houses

me: but that's a cartoon and we can't just build a treehouse in a park. we'd get in trouble by the police.

{minor intermission while he babbles and I neglect to type}

if we had a tree house it would change my life.
it would because when my friends came over instead of saying, let's go in your room and play legos,
they'd say c'mon gage lets go climb up your tree house.
that's like the only word I've thougth of somebody letting me hear but I've never heard it.

{now he starts looking out the dark window plotting where to put it. he wants to start by planting the tree...}

it wouldn't change my life at all, it's just something i always wanted

me: it's not something you always wanted, it's a new want

I know but it's a big want
it's not like I want a pencil or something
it's like I'd have two houses
well actually three houses
mommy's, daddy's and my treehouse
it would add one more whole box in my life
like if I had a treehouse {teary} when i made my heart at school I could have put the treehouse in it
see that's why it's something I'm missing.

{fake sniffle}

me: do you know what I think? I think you are the most special boy in the whole world
 

{ignoring me} it would just be so cool to wake up and come out here and see the whole yard, and the pool, and a treehouse
see, I've been seeing all of this in my brain
it's not funny to me

me: do you know what I'm typing?

something about my treehouse?

wordless wednesday

Oh, what a terribly boring three day weekend that was.
I don't think the kids had any fun whatsoever.

the next generation

I got an email from my mom today with a tale about her trip to the Apple store today.  It was too funny not to share.  These are mostly her words (with just a few edits) taken directly from the email...

I went to ATT today to find out why I couldn't get an internet connection on my iPhone.  An 'older' gentleman came in while I was being helped.  His phone wouldn't ring. Only vibrate.  This happened to me two weeks ago and I finally remembered the little button on on side of the phone that turns the ringer off.  I showed him while she was checking my phone.  Then I called him and it rang. He left happy and when I was in the car my phone rang. It was him. He said, 'This is Marsall did you call me?'  He didn't realize he was looking at the call I'd just made in the store!

the power of a mother

I had the strangest dream this morning.

I was taking a trip.  I was with another woman but the person is still not clear.  I think it was my mom at one point but not throughout the entire dream.  We had stopped at an airport cafe for a snack in between the second and third legs of our flight.  It was crowded.  I was holding one of two twin babies.  The other woman was holding the second baby but we were not standing together.

I saw a girl that I went to camp with when I was about 10 across the shop.  (Why she entered my subconscious is waaaayyyy beyond me.)  She was calling my name and it was taking me a while to place the face.  There was a lot going on around me.

All of the sudden I realized that the man squatting with his back towards me at my feet was trying to steal the baby from my arms.  I was having a hard time holding on to the baby.  It was not mine but I had to save it.  I tried to fight him off with my right arm but he clamped down on my hand with his teeth.  I tried to scream "HELP" multiple times but nothing was coming out of my mouth.  No one around me noticed what was going on.  The man turned back to look at me with this look of, "yeah, you're fucked" on his face when I screamed on the top of my lungs "HELP!" one more time.   But the difference was this time I did it out loud... and in real life.  I woke myself up as I was screaming.  Fortunately I didn't wake the kids but it startled the heck out of me.

I think that was the first time ever that has happened to me.  Like many people, I frequently dream that I'm trying to run but I can't get anywhere, trying to scream but nothing will come out.  But this time, the feeling of protecting that infant was so strong that I finally got the word out.  I have to say I was a little proud of myself.  And somehow... I managed to fall back to sleep.

Analyze that.

ellipsis...

Courtesy of Wikipedia: Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from the Greek: ἔλλειψις, élleipsis, "omission") is a mark or series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word in the original text. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought, or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis) (apostrophe and ellipsis mixed). When placed at the end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech.

So why am I telling you this? Well, first because I had no idea what "..." was called until tonight. (OK, well maybe I knew one day, a long, long time ago but I clearly forgot.) And because Gage is absolutely the most adorable reader ever. Tonight he read Zuzu and I a bedtime story, "Watch Me Throw The Ball!" and I'm telling you, this kid is good.  The book, part of a series of books by Mo Willems, is written as a conversation between Elephant and Piggie.  And Gage just gets it.  His inflections are right on.  He gets loud and angry when Elephant gets all riled up and he gets sweet and silly when Piggie does.  But the best part?  The ellipses. Because Gage sings them as if it's a goofy mystery and we just can't wait to find out what's next. It sounds something like this, "duh, duh, duuuhhhhhhh". And it is ADORABLE.

the zuzu show

'Cause it was a Rock Lobster, You Can't Stop the Beat, Life's What You Make It kinda day...

and another page has turned...

And then all of the sudden it happens. Without conversation, explanation or celebration, he silently retreats back to his old room. It is as if he never left. There is no hesitation, no fear and certainly no regret. He is even immune to the pleading from his little sister who generously shared her bed for over six months and isn't quite ready for him to move on yet.

He sits patiently in his bed reading his new, big boy chapter books while mom reads to his little sister and tends to her many ridiculous requests in the room next door. And then, when his turn has come, I sit on his bed and HE reads to ME. He tells me he loves me. He lets me wander out. And he goes to sleep.

In his room. In his bed. Alone.

And another page has turned...

our kids are weird

Our kids are weird.

And our dog is weird too.
But my video icon is back!

In case you haven't noticed, I've been unable to upload videos to this blog for some time now. Terribly frustrating but clearly it never became a big priority. Until a few days ago when I mentioned it via blog comment to my most useful bloggy friend, Jill, who found the simple solution for me. Ah, it's nice to have motivated friends.

So now my easy peasy link function is gone, and some of the other frilly new features that I'd been enjoying that you probably could care less about, but the video action is back.
Consider yourself warned.

you are loved.

You are loved.  

And you are beautiful in every way.  

And you are my rock.  

And I simply can't type anymore because there are too many tears in my eyes.  

Thank you. For everything.

We miss you & can't wait to see you again soon.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

happy mother's day to me

Not only was I showered with three different flower arrangements by the thoughtful adults in my life today, I was also honored with two lovely handmade cards courtesy of my loving children and their talented teachers.  I'm still waiting for the day that one of my children doesn't thank me for taking them to the toy store...but nonetheless, I am teary eyed reading these love notes over, and over, and over again...

My mom is great because...

She makes sure I don't fall.  

She takes me to the toy store and 

she gets me water when I'm thirsty.

Love, Zuzu

My mom's hair is as yellow as the sun.  

She can help me build a robot. 

My mom is as smart as a scientist.  

Her eyes are as blue as an iceberg.  

My mom is so cool!  

She is a great mom! 

Love, Gage

When I read Gage's card in the school parking lot I started to cry.  I bent down and gave him a huge hug and told him how much he had genuinely touched my heart by his words.  He looked up at me and said, "I know, I know... and now you're going to go home and put it on your blog."  

the fight for the frozen land

It's official.  Our son is a creative genius AND a perfectionist.  What?  You're not surprised?  But why?  His genes hardly lean that way. 
Do they? 

This is a journal entry he wrote tonight in the handmade journal I made this afternoon.  Twice.  (The first journal's pages didn't line up perfectly and it was abandoned and given to his little sister.) 

This copy above is chapter one of the journal.  When you add the intended caps & punctuation it reads, "The GRO is a secret agent team that solves crimes.  It only has children in it.  The secret agent rock star is today's agent.  Today's mission is the fight for the frozen land."  He got the idea from a new series of "chapter books" he's reading entitled Secret Agent Jack Stalwart.  Granted, edition 12 that he's on now is called "The Fight for the Frozen Land" so it's not entirely creative... but still. We all have to get inspired somehow.

Unfortunately, the artwork on the top of the page was discredited by the author and the entire journal was abandoned shortly before bed.  At his majesty's request, I have just spent the last 40 minutes of my evening photocopying, cutting, gluing and binding journal #3.  Wish me luck when I hand it over tomorrow.  It better damn well pass inspection.

it's somehow worse in writing

I got this email today from our local soccer league and I really just want to know (and I almost want to type in all caps but I'll refrain because I really hate that) how I can look forward to another terrific season when our baby is going to be in Second Grade.  Second Grade?  Really?  Noooooooo...

Dear Kristi,
Gage has successfully enrolled in the club's 2010 recreational soccer season.
•••
Currently, we have Gage in the Second Grade - Coed age group.
•••
Please contact me ONLY if the information above is in error.
With approx. 1,350 players already signed up, we’re looking forward to another terrific season.  I’m glad you’re a part of it!
Best regards,

the glamorous life of a tooth fairy

12:30am
Zuzu: "Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"
Mom: "No.  Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

1:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but the tooth fairy left me $20.00!"
Mom: turns on light
Gage: "Oh, it's only $10.00"
Mom: "That's so exciting, now go back to sleep. I love you..."
Gage: gets back in bed and finds previously overlooked note from tooth fairy
Mom: stands patiently with nightlight while Gage slowly reads the entire note
Gage: excitedly asks several very important questions about the tooth fairy (that Mom no longer retains)
Mom: "Now go back to sleep. I love you..."

2:00am
Gage:  "Mommy, I really need a drink"
Mom:  takes Gage to glass of water in bathroom
Gage: "And now I directly need to pee"
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

2:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I just really need to keep drinking"
Mom: points from bed to remaining water on bathroom counter
Gage: polishes off glass
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

3:15am
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Maaaammmmaaaaa"
Mom: ignores Zuzu in hopes that she's just having a nightmare
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Mommy!"
Mom: "What Zuzu?"
Zuzu: "I need help putting on my pajamas!"
Mom: schleps back down hallway for the fifth time in three hours wondering what the hell her daughter is talking about
Zuzu: sitting up in bed smiling, "Oh, I already have them on."
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

7:30-8:30am
Detective Gage repeatedly attempts to destroy the myth of the tooth fairy.
Mom: "Now go to school.  I love you..."

look what's missing!

Nothing like a six year old being blatantly direct with the Tooth Fairy.

At least he said please.

sweet dreams

Zuzu has a very unsettling habit of screaming bloody murder in her sleep.  It doesn't really seem to bother her.  She never wakes up, she never remembers it in the morning and she never wants to talk about the subject.  Ever.  But, needless to say, the rest of the family is getting a little tired of the midnight, three AM and six AM wake-up calls.  So last night I made my first real attempt to stop the madness.

I started by asking what her bad dreams were about.  She told me there were mean monkeys in it that were trying to get us (thinking the wizard of oz might have something to do with this one).  I asked her how we could defeat the monkeys and then, in my sleepy stupor, I brilliantly suggest that we might acquire a gentle old elephant to scoop us up and carry us safely away from the mean monkeys. 

No, says our gentle three year old.  We need guns.

Guns?  Hmmmm.  Isn't there some other way we could make them go away, I ask.  Guns seem a little scary. 

Then fire, she says.  We'll set them on fire. 

Thinking fast I give in to the fire and suggest that we light the monkeys like birthday candles and then make a wish and blow them out.

She looks at me like I'm absolutely out of my mind and insists that we must not blow out the fire.  The monkeys must burn.

So with that I kiss her goodnight and leave the room.   And then our gentle child proceeds to sleep silently through the night. 

Burn monkeys, burn.

liar, liar pants on fire

Remember when I told you here that Gage had a loose tooth?  Yeah, well, I lied.  He actually has four loose teeth.  All four center teeth are wiggling.  Some more than others of course but the dentist advised that Gage learn the words to a new song this Spring.  It goes something like this, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..." 

And while we're on the topic of misinformation...

Remember when I said I'd never buy Zuzu a Zhu Zhu pet?  Simply because she's a darling little girl and they are annoying battery operated RODENTS with the same name?  Well, I did say that.  A few times.  Even turned down a free one from a friend last fall.  Well, yesterday I caved.  I can't possibly explain why.  All I can say, in my defense, is that I held out FAR longer than I usually do.

Meet Jilly.  She's pink.  Next on the wish list is "Stinky".  Oh, and Gage would like "Captain Zhu".  Fortunately no one is interested in the one named "Zu Zu".  Yet.

all in the family

For the last ten minutes or so Zuzu has been swinging a gold charm in front of my face telling me to "go to sleep".  Then she gives me "true love's kiss" and I wake up.  It's really quite darling.  Especially since she's doing the entire thing in song.  Plus, I like the short naps.

Then she handed me the charm and said, "Here Mommy, you can advertise yourself now."

"I can hypnotize myself now or advertise myself now?"

"You can advertise yourself now."