my incomplete life. by gage.

Please tell me I'm not the only mother that takes notes when her child goes on a wild rant?  I honestly had NO idea where this was going to end up but when he started with "my life is just not complete" I just started typing.  Apologies for any typos.  He talks fast and, truth be told,  I really just don't feel like editing right now...

my life is just not complete

I mean, every day I feel that i don't need my life perfect ... but it's not complete
I don't need everything.
I just need everything I want
it just doestn't feel complete
maybe i just feel like I'm missing like two things in my life

me: what are those two things?

maybe just one

me: what is that one?

my life is just not complete without one thing
it's not really something in my life
well it's half something in my life and half something to relax in
it's not a toy
I won't be able to get it
some day I will feel my life is complete
I probably will never be able to get it
Well maybe some day

me: what is it?

i don't want to tell you
all i would do is give you hints and you would say no, you're probably not going to get it

me: is it a phone?

no, that's not important in my life
you kind of need a computer
do you need a computer?
you don't need it but it's good.  it helps you with a lot of stuff
that was like... remember when i was deciding between 1 or 2?
a computer was #2
then I decided what's specific in my life that I am missing
what am i missing in my life?
i bet you don't understand
well if I didn't have a house that would be the #1 thing I'd be missing
if i didn't have a family that would be #1
i'm talking about nature and stuff that i'm missing
not like a phone
do I need a computer?
i'm just too embarassed to tell you what I'm tihnking of
i mean you can guess but...

me: you want a pet elephant?

mommy!
not something specific

me: you want love?

have you ever heard me run out of my room saying i want a pet elephant?
i already have love

me: i know you do

what do i need?
i mean it's not really something i need
i'll give you one hint
oh i can't tell you it will give it away
oh nuts
there is so much hints  i could give you but it would give it away
and i don't know if you would say yes

me: try me

what? try you?

me: just tell me straight out. don't give me a hint.

I'll spell it out for you but you can't say it even if you know it
i might spell it wrong but I bet you'll get it
I'll just spell the first word
T.R.E.E

me: is there any place at daddy's house to put one?

he doesn't have any trees
I was going to say that there is a TV show that has one - you know on arthur - it's not in their back yard - it's in a place that's close to their houses

me: but that's a cartoon and we can't just build a treehouse in a park. we'd get in trouble by the police.

{minor intermission while he babbles and I neglect to type}

if we had a tree house it would change my life.
it would because when my friends came over instead of saying, let's go in your room and play legos,
they'd say c'mon gage lets go climb up your tree house.
that's like the only word I've thougth of somebody letting me hear but I've never heard it.

{now he starts looking out the dark window plotting where to put it. he wants to start by planting the tree...}

it wouldn't change my life at all, it's just something i always wanted

me: it's not something you always wanted, it's a new want

I know but it's a big want
it's not like I want a pencil or something
it's like I'd have two houses
well actually three houses
mommy's, daddy's and my treehouse
it would add one more whole box in my life
like if I had a treehouse {teary} when i made my heart at school I could have put the treehouse in it
see that's why it's something I'm missing.

{fake sniffle}

me: do you know what I think? I think you are the most special boy in the whole world
 

{ignoring me} it would just be so cool to wake up and come out here and see the whole yard, and the pool, and a treehouse
see, I've been seeing all of this in my brain
it's not funny to me

me: do you know what I'm typing?

something about my treehouse?

and another page has turned...

And then all of the sudden it happens. Without conversation, explanation or celebration, he silently retreats back to his old room. It is as if he never left. There is no hesitation, no fear and certainly no regret. He is even immune to the pleading from his little sister who generously shared her bed for over six months and isn't quite ready for him to move on yet.

He sits patiently in his bed reading his new, big boy chapter books while mom reads to his little sister and tends to her many ridiculous requests in the room next door. And then, when his turn has come, I sit on his bed and HE reads to ME. He tells me he loves me. He lets me wander out. And he goes to sleep.

In his room. In his bed. Alone.

And another page has turned...

the fight for the frozen land

It's official.  Our son is a creative genius AND a perfectionist.  What?  You're not surprised?  But why?  His genes hardly lean that way. 
Do they? 

This is a journal entry he wrote tonight in the handmade journal I made this afternoon.  Twice.  (The first journal's pages didn't line up perfectly and it was abandoned and given to his little sister.) 

This copy above is chapter one of the journal.  When you add the intended caps & punctuation it reads, "The GRO is a secret agent team that solves crimes.  It only has children in it.  The secret agent rock star is today's agent.  Today's mission is the fight for the frozen land."  He got the idea from a new series of "chapter books" he's reading entitled Secret Agent Jack Stalwart.  Granted, edition 12 that he's on now is called "The Fight for the Frozen Land" so it's not entirely creative... but still. We all have to get inspired somehow.

Unfortunately, the artwork on the top of the page was discredited by the author and the entire journal was abandoned shortly before bed.  At his majesty's request, I have just spent the last 40 minutes of my evening photocopying, cutting, gluing and binding journal #3.  Wish me luck when I hand it over tomorrow.  It better damn well pass inspection.

it's somehow worse in writing

I got this email today from our local soccer league and I really just want to know (and I almost want to type in all caps but I'll refrain because I really hate that) how I can look forward to another terrific season when our baby is going to be in Second Grade.  Second Grade?  Really?  Noooooooo...

Dear Kristi,
Gage has successfully enrolled in the club's 2010 recreational soccer season.
•••
Currently, we have Gage in the Second Grade - Coed age group.
•••
Please contact me ONLY if the information above is in error.
With approx. 1,350 players already signed up, we’re looking forward to another terrific season.  I’m glad you’re a part of it!
Best regards,

pardon the interruption

We interrupt a month's worth of silence for a very important announcement.

We have a loose tooth!!!

Being the youngest in his class Gage is the only one of his friends with all of his teeth.  It's been a long painful year of Gage shouting, "I have a loose tooth!" only to find that the tooth is rock solid.  But this week the moment finally arrived and the tooth is most definitely loose.

As you know, I rarely take "posed" pictures of the kids but today I forced Gage into a wide, tooth filled smile...as it may be one of the last.  And that kinda makes me cry.

The following shots of Zuzu have nothing to do with her teeth.  They were taken simply because she likes to pose.  And she's damn good at it.

mini photog

I just sat down at the kid's computer and stumbled upon these images in iphoto.  Modeled by Grandma and Mommy.  Styled and shot by Gage.  No cropping or retouching necessary.  Well, a butt lift might have been nice but I'm not that good an editor.

ho ho ho

What better way to welcome in the holiday season than to hang out at yup, you guessed it, the mall. Taking pictures with Santa...(please note that according to my five year old, this is not the "real" Santa, he is just some guy dressed up in a costume at the mall who reports back to the "real" Santa).


High fiving Santa because the hug that she wanted to give him turned out to be just a little too scary once they were actually face to face.


Sipping hot cocoa with whipped cream at Peet's. Zuzu's first hot cocoa experience which she actually had to be coaxed into...and certainly not the last. (Don't they really look alike here?)


Frog jumping at the mall playground. This is actually when the most entertaining part happened but I was too busy laughing out loud to capture it on film.

Zuzu kept getting in Gage's way as he was trying to jump the frog. Why wouldn't she? Her mission in life is to annoy him, right?

Anyway, he went over and tried to push her off the frog, while yelling at her, "Zuzu, get out of my way!" When from out of no where Santa appeared outside the gate (presumably taking a potty break) and shouted at Gage, (swear this is true) "Hey, be nice to your sister. Remember I told you that? Or I'll move you from the nice list to the naughty list."

He then turned and walked around the corner (towards the restroom). All the kids on the playground stared, the parents giggled and what did Gage do? He turned to me and said, "But Mommy, I want Santa to see me jump over the frog!". Nice.


What do you think? Is this advertisement alluring or what? My kids couldn't tell you what it was selling but doesn't it look like they want to climb in? It was more difficult to pull them away from this than Santa, the hot cocoa, or the playground. Go figure.

pre-high-school musical

Missed any of the High School Musical movies? (there have been three) Well never fear, Gage & Zuzu bring it all to you right from Gage's very own bedroom. Sans pants, of course.

sign of the times

I'm pretty sure that a broken down arrow key is a pretty good indicator that Gage is spending too much time playing his Lego Star Wars video game. You think?

I am a good mother

No. I am a great mother. But that didn't stop my four year old from darting in front of a moving vehicle tonight. Thanks to an attentive stranger, Gage is sleeping soundly and physically unharmed in his bed tonight.

I was not going to blog about this tonight. I shut down the computer and headed to bed but I just can't turn the event off in my head. I am blogging for two reasons. One, yes, I hope to achieve some sense of catharsis and two, I hope to make sure this never happens to anyone I know.

Gage knows damn well how dangerous cars are. Almost more than anyone, but that did not change the decision he made tonight to turn and run. He looked one way, but not the other. I was standing right next to him. There were two other adults, three other children and a dog with us. Not one of us noticed until the car screeched to a halt directly next to where we stood happily chatting on the side walk.

I am normally so neurotic about the kids safety. I had Zuzu within arms reach but I never dreamed that I would need to be watching Gage so closely. No matter how many times you warn or preach or show by example, it can happen. Tonight was my proof.

I am thankful for the complete stranger who was evidently aware of the large group gathered on the sidewalk. I am thankful that the Gators played today and Gage still donned his bright blue jersey and orange pants. I am thankful that the sun was still shining brightly in the evening sky. And I am thankful that we all learned a valuable lesson without anyone getting hurt.

Please don't let this happen to you. Those of us standing there, and those of us feeling guilty about not being closer, will ever forget the sound of those tires or Gage's voice as he ran to me sobbing, "I don't want to die".

doggie day care

Baby Duke is our house guest for the weekend. He just arrived this morning and I'm pretty confident that we provided him with more exercise and excitement than he's seen in a long time (or ever). And today was a school day. Look out weekend...here we come...

(and yes, baby duke had a much needed haircut since his last blog entry!)

school girl

Today was Zuzu's first official day of pre-school (without mom). There were no tears shed (at least not by the kids) and no tantrums thrown. Big brother was very supportive and felt the need to repeatedly remind Zu in the car that mommy wasn't going to be there...but if she got upset she should have her teacher come get him. It was so incredibly thoughtful but shot my plan of sneaking out straight out of the water. I couldn't be more proud of them both. We do it all again on Thursday...

fair is fair

We had some friends over for take-out pizza last night. To me, pizza night is just that, pizza night. But my dear friend was insisting that her kids eat some chicken before they get any pizza. So, picture my two lovelies devouring their cheese pizza while Gage's friend throws a fit because he can't have any yet.

I stay quiet. This is not my battle. I don't have chicken for my kids nor do I find it necessary to feed them any. If she is passionate about this she will work it out.

Next thing I know, amongst the screaming, Gage is calling sweetly for my friend. "Stephanie", he says, "can I please have some chicken?...because I just want it to be fair for Zach." Tears. Mine, not Zach's (now he has to eat his chicken).

Thanks to Gage, we all enjoyed a lovely meal. Well, almost, Steph forgot to order mine...but that's irrelevant here...

holga test...take one

These are four images from my newly acquired toy that I introduced here. Of course they were processed and scanned before landing on this website (how very retro!) since there's nothing digital about this camera. I'm not terribly impressed by these shots but they did encourage me to buy three more rolls of film. Stay tuned...

a week (or so) captured on the phone

Please tell me, what exactly does one DO with a 30" plastic Batman figure other than pose with it at Toys R Us?


Sadly, I don't think the headless mannequin at Peek...Aren't You Curious had anything to do with this photo. I was simply trying to catch her on the awesome (and crazy expensive) ride.






How many bad phone photos do you think have been taken on these ridiculous mall rides? I bet there are thousands of this window alone.

Footnote:
I just realized that all of these images were captured in locations that involve retail sales. I swear...they went to school, ate many meals, hit a playground or two, practiced soccer & gymnastics. Alas, I seem to have managed to photograph my children only while shopping.
Lovely.

dinner theater

look out little league...

follow the leader

Scott took the kids to the local farmer's market this morning while I followed up with my Sunday morning yoga commitment. As told to me, it was very crowded and Zuzu was lagging behind the two boys when Gage turned to her and explained in his "helpful" older brother tone, "Zuzu, you don't want to get lost here, just look for the hair."

Photo taken at zoo earlier in week but perfectly exemplifies above mentioned hair.

decisions, decisions

Yesterday, Gage and I tried out a new gymnastics studio. We're working on our fall activities schedule (yes, I've learned that this takes time and patience) and are trying to choose a gymnastics class.

We got there early so we were killing some time chatting in the parking lot. I told Gage that he could choose any gym that he wanted. His list looked something like this...
1. He could stay at The Little Gym where he's been for two years (excelling yet not being challenged)
2. He could attend Mega with his friend Zach (which is rather formal and involves more rush hour traffic than I would hope for) or
3. He could attend this new gym, Pyramid with his "bestest girlfriend" Sofia.

Without stepping foot into the gym and without any guidance from mom Gage hastily responded, "I would be delighted to take gymnastics with Sofia".

"Delighted". I almost pee'd my pants.

a day at the zoo

Oh how we love the San Francisco Zoo.