the glamorous life of a tooth fairy

12:30am
Zuzu: "Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"
Mom: "No.  Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

1:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but the tooth fairy left me $20.00!"
Mom: turns on light
Gage: "Oh, it's only $10.00"
Mom: "That's so exciting, now go back to sleep. I love you..."
Gage: gets back in bed and finds previously overlooked note from tooth fairy
Mom: stands patiently with nightlight while Gage slowly reads the entire note
Gage: excitedly asks several very important questions about the tooth fairy (that Mom no longer retains)
Mom: "Now go back to sleep. I love you..."

2:00am
Gage:  "Mommy, I really need a drink"
Mom:  takes Gage to glass of water in bathroom
Gage: "And now I directly need to pee"
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

2:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I just really need to keep drinking"
Mom: points from bed to remaining water on bathroom counter
Gage: polishes off glass
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

3:15am
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Maaaammmmaaaaa"
Mom: ignores Zuzu in hopes that she's just having a nightmare
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Mommy!"
Mom: "What Zuzu?"
Zuzu: "I need help putting on my pajamas!"
Mom: schleps back down hallway for the fifth time in three hours wondering what the hell her daughter is talking about
Zuzu: sitting up in bed smiling, "Oh, I already have them on."
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

7:30-8:30am
Detective Gage repeatedly attempts to destroy the myth of the tooth fairy.
Mom: "Now go to school.  I love you..."

look what's missing!

Nothing like a six year old being blatantly direct with the Tooth Fairy.

At least he said please.

sweet dreams

Zuzu has a very unsettling habit of screaming bloody murder in her sleep.  It doesn't really seem to bother her.  She never wakes up, she never remembers it in the morning and she never wants to talk about the subject.  Ever.  But, needless to say, the rest of the family is getting a little tired of the midnight, three AM and six AM wake-up calls.  So last night I made my first real attempt to stop the madness.

I started by asking what her bad dreams were about.  She told me there were mean monkeys in it that were trying to get us (thinking the wizard of oz might have something to do with this one).  I asked her how we could defeat the monkeys and then, in my sleepy stupor, I brilliantly suggest that we might acquire a gentle old elephant to scoop us up and carry us safely away from the mean monkeys. 

No, says our gentle three year old.  We need guns.

Guns?  Hmmmm.  Isn't there some other way we could make them go away, I ask.  Guns seem a little scary. 

Then fire, she says.  We'll set them on fire. 

Thinking fast I give in to the fire and suggest that we light the monkeys like birthday candles and then make a wish and blow them out.

She looks at me like I'm absolutely out of my mind and insists that we must not blow out the fire.  The monkeys must burn.

So with that I kiss her goodnight and leave the room.   And then our gentle child proceeds to sleep silently through the night. 

Burn monkeys, burn.

liar, liar pants on fire

Remember when I told you here that Gage had a loose tooth?  Yeah, well, I lied.  He actually has four loose teeth.  All four center teeth are wiggling.  Some more than others of course but the dentist advised that Gage learn the words to a new song this Spring.  It goes something like this, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..." 

And while we're on the topic of misinformation...

Remember when I said I'd never buy Zuzu a Zhu Zhu pet?  Simply because she's a darling little girl and they are annoying battery operated RODENTS with the same name?  Well, I did say that.  A few times.  Even turned down a free one from a friend last fall.  Well, yesterday I caved.  I can't possibly explain why.  All I can say, in my defense, is that I held out FAR longer than I usually do.

Meet Jilly.  She's pink.  Next on the wish list is "Stinky".  Oh, and Gage would like "Captain Zhu".  Fortunately no one is interested in the one named "Zu Zu".  Yet.

all in the family

For the last ten minutes or so Zuzu has been swinging a gold charm in front of my face telling me to "go to sleep".  Then she gives me "true love's kiss" and I wake up.  It's really quite darling.  Especially since she's doing the entire thing in song.  Plus, I like the short naps.

Then she handed me the charm and said, "Here Mommy, you can advertise yourself now."

"I can hypnotize myself now or advertise myself now?"

"You can advertise yourself now."