and I quote.

zuzu: (at 7am on a Saturday morning) c'mon mommy, let's go play in my room!
mom: I think I might need to make some coffee first.
zuzu: oh, right coffee. and that will rev you up?!

so long April...

It's 8pm and Gage decides he wants to organize the bulletin board in his bedroom. Mind you, his "bulletin board" is comprised of nine Ikea magnetic boards hung side by side and they span the entire wall. But, his mind is set and I absolutely detest the clutter that is up there now so I agree to do some quick purging.

The two of us (both obsessive compulsive and openly non-tolerant of disorganization) stand speechless in front of the vast expanse of two year old art projects, team photos, torn sports illustrated pages, used ticket stubs, autographs & tooth fairy notes. I honestly have no clue where to begin. Then he looks at me, dead serious, and says, "well, I'd like to start by taking down April".

He is referring to a handmade month of April calendar that is hanging in prime location at the bottom of the board. On August 10th. The boy's got smarts I tell you. Mad smarts.

how to cure the hiccups

I had nothing to do with this.  You can actually see me and my mom entering from the garage after the documentary had already begun.  I do wish it were a little more in focus, but considering the director/videographer is only six I think it's a pretty good start.  

Betcha can't guess what finally does the trick...

beeja beeja

If you knew me when I was three you will most likely find this absolutely hysterical.  But if you aren't one of those four blog readers you might just find this absolutely absurd.  Either way.  Here it is.

old maid

Gage: but I really don't want to play old maid.  Can we play go fish, or uno, or crazy eights, or war instead please???

Mom: sure but I really wish it wouldn't upset you so much to lose at old maid.  It's truly not that bad to be stuck with the old maid card.  It doesn't bother me a bit.  I kind of think it's fun!

Grandma: I know! I like getting the old maid card.

Gage: but you two are so much older and have had so much more time to deal with this issue.

religion 101. again. sort of?

Mom: I can't believe I have to put on my winter coat to take out the garbage. In July.

Zuzu: winter is my favorite because it's Christmas

Our guest for dinner, David: why do you love Christmas?

Zuzu: because I love all the presents

David: is that the only time you get presents? (sarcastically, knowing damn well it's not)

Zuzu: no, I got presents on my birthday

Gage: and we get presents for Hanukah too

Zuzu: yeah, all three are my favorites!

David: you celebrate Hanukah?

Gage: yeah, we celebrate Christmas because of my mom but my dad is Jewish...

and I am Jewish too because I've been to that place...  you know... for...

stinky foot in mouth

This morning as we're loading up into the car for pre-school our just turned four year old, Zuzu, takes a quick look at my face. 

"What's that on your chin, Mommy?" 

Great.  Like I wasn't self conscience enough.  

Mommy has a "boo-boo" on her chin, I tell her (because I'm thinking the words "zit" or "pimple" might just perpetuate the conversation).  And then, clearly without thinking at all I say, "I know, it's ugly isn't it?"

I fasten her seat belt and get into the front seat.  I start the car.

"Mommy, what does ugly mean?"

The world stops.  Really?  I just taught our four year old the word "ugly" and now I need to define it for her? At 9am on a Monday?  When I am already preparing to face the gloomy morning with more than one large "boo-boo" on my face? What have I done and how could I be such a terrible influence???

So I attempt to explain that ugly is not a very nice word.  I shouldn't have said it... but sometimes people use the word to define something that is not at all pretty.  Just like sometimes people use the word stupid to describe something a little annoying when they shouldn't.

"So ugly is like Shrek, right?  Because he's an Ogre.  So he is ugly."

But is he?

Four.