the glamorous life of a tooth fairy

12:30am
Zuzu: "Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"
Mom: "No.  Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

1:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but the tooth fairy left me $20.00!"
Mom: turns on light
Gage: "Oh, it's only $10.00"
Mom: "That's so exciting, now go back to sleep. I love you..."
Gage: gets back in bed and finds previously overlooked note from tooth fairy
Mom: stands patiently with nightlight while Gage slowly reads the entire note
Gage: excitedly asks several very important questions about the tooth fairy (that Mom no longer retains)
Mom: "Now go back to sleep. I love you..."

2:00am
Gage:  "Mommy, I really need a drink"
Mom:  takes Gage to glass of water in bathroom
Gage: "And now I directly need to pee"
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

2:30am
Gage: "Mommy, I just really need to keep drinking"
Mom: points from bed to remaining water on bathroom counter
Gage: polishes off glass
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

3:15am
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Maaaammmmaaaaa"
Mom: ignores Zuzu in hopes that she's just having a nightmare
Zuzu: screaming from room, "Mommy!"
Mom: "What Zuzu?"
Zuzu: "I need help putting on my pajamas!"
Mom: schleps back down hallway for the fifth time in three hours wondering what the hell her daughter is talking about
Zuzu: sitting up in bed smiling, "Oh, I already have them on."
Mom: "Now go back to sleep.  I love you..."

7:30-8:30am
Detective Gage repeatedly attempts to destroy the myth of the tooth fairy.
Mom: "Now go to school.  I love you..."