taking it literally

Mind you, this is not the first time this has happened but it is the first time I've blogged about it...and it gets me every time. It went something like this...

zuzu: can I have a treat now?
mom: no, you cannot have a treat now because you did not finish your dinner
zuzu: can I have a treat now?
mom: would you like to eat this carrot? then you can have a treat
zuzu: yes (takes a nibble and attempts to return carrot to mom)
mom: no, you need to eat the whole carrot
zuzu: (takes another bite and attempts to return carrot to mom)
mom: no, zuzu, I want you to make the entire carrot go away
zuzu: (headed to kitchen) can I throw it in the garbage?

not me monday

I am NOT sitting here blogging at the dinner table while the kids watch the Backyardigans and we all shovel pizza down our hungry throats. That would be severely bad parenting to neglect this close family time together.

I did NOT have pizza delivered on a Monday night after I spent the morning at Whole Foods ensuring that our cupboards were stocked because I lacked the creativity and energy to do anything but. (besides, we skipped our standing Friday pizza delivery this weekend due to the holiday so we were overdue)

I most definitely did NOT entertain the thought of fibbing to my fellow kindergarten parents to get out of this morning's obligatory lice check. I mean I HAD assumed that my dentist appointment conflicted until I checked the calendar and found out that it did not. (And for those inquiring minds just dying to know...we had our first 100% lice free check in three weeks...yippee...the buggers are presumably gone. For now.)

I did NOT reply to a soon-to-be six year olds birthday party last night by saying that Gage would love to attend...but that we might be a little late due to the conflict with the Gator football game. That would be terribly disrespectful. (Especially since I later learned from the birthday boy's father that the game is on Saturday and the party Sunday.) And I absolutely do NOT blame that blunder on Scott.

I am NOT completely baffled by Gage's recent football addiction nor am I NOT dreading the fact that Monday night football starts in 5 minutes...and he knows it.

What did you NOT do today?

Oh, and I did NOT just honor Zuzu's request and paint her right hand fingernails blue, her left hand fingernails pink, her right toenails pink & her left toenails blue. That would be a tad absurd.

do you have the time? and day?

Um, yeah. I just opened the blog and thought, "Oh no!...I forgot to post not me Monday". Yeah, I did. Think that I mean. And if you are reading this in a timely manner you will notice that it is Saturday. Close, right? These damn holiday weekends really screw with me apparently. I don't make a habit of posting on Saturdays....so what the heck am I doing here...?

four oreos worth of happy

I've been on a mission the past few days to get some cute shots of the two kids TOGETHER for some clever holiday gifts I'm working on. Seems of the near hundred photos I snap daily, the kids are rarely in the same frame.
Go figure.

Zuzu, being two, and frequently forced to parade around in zuzu girl accessories, was not quite as cooperative as Gage and I would have liked. So I did what all good mothers do when they are persuaded out. I bribed them. Yup. Two oreos a piece bought me about a minute and a half worth of overly exaggerated sibling love. (and those would be the "fake oreos", dad)

Figured I best post them in as many places possible to get my bribe's worth.

three turkeys & a monkey

Can you guess which is which?
The first turkey was deep fried and oh, so yummy.
The second and third are yummy too, even when they make silly faces.
And the little monkey finally found a tree to climb.
The big welt on her forehead came later and was caused by a TV console, not a tree.
We had a lovely time with lovely friends....hope your day was lovely too.

giving thanks

Figured it was as good a time as any to share a photo of myself on this thoughtful day. (Just don't count on it becoming a regular occurrence.)

Yesterday I had the honor of sharing "friendship soup" with my 5 year old and his kindergarten classmates. Each child contributed one assigned ingredient which they helped to clean and chop...and which was then sent home with a gracious mom to be cleaned and chopped some more for good measure.

I helped the kids make their own "turkey hats" that they all donned for the occasion over their protective head gear due to the school's recent lice infestation. The irony. We made hats...to wear over our hats.

But all in all it was a lovely afternoon and I am quite thankful that Gage is thriving within this incredible elementary school community. A few months ago we were worried, him being on the young side, but worry no more. He's found a new home. The head lice, however, we could do without.

What are you thankful for today?

I don't do dishes

Just finished up dinner. The kids are sitting at the table eating their fake oreos and I remark, "Well, I guess I'll do the dishes because you two certainly don't want to do them." To this Zuzu promptly replies, "I'm little. I cannot do the dishes." Cannot. That part killed me.

To make her even more adorable, as I'm typing the above this is happening...
zuzu: mommy, where is your cookie?
mommy: I ate it
zuzu: you ate it? it's down your throat?
mommy: yes, it's down my throat
zuzu: (coughing)
mommy: (observing curiously)
zuzu: I'm just coughing. I'm alright.

not me monday

I did not just hide in my room for 45 minutes reading US Weekly in the dark to get Zuzu to sleep. (did this not happen last week too?) And she definitely didn't fall asleep about 20 minutes into the scheme and I didn't feel compelled to stay and continue reading how Angelina still torments Jen. Nope, not me.

And I definitely didn't have a seven piece order today which ate up 5 of my 6 fairy princess wands going into the holiday weekend so I don't need to get my face out of US Weekly and my fingertips off the keyboard to go and sprinkle some pixie dust on the craft table. No, that would be far too productive.

What did you NOT do today....?

oh and by the way...

The comments button works. See it? It's just below this paragraph. It probably says "0 comments". I even did you the favor of opening up comments to anyone that damn well pleases. You don't have to register or even tell me who you are if you don't want to. You just click on the link. Type. Verify a squiggly, random word. Publish. Done.

I know there are at least a handful of you reading this now and thinking, uh oh, she's directing this to me. And yup, you're all right.

Granted, it does make me exceptionally happy when you tell me how much you love the blog or that you read it every morning and even when you send me e-mails commenting on a post (that's classic). But it would make me feel much less alone out here in blog-land if you just clicked the comment button every now and then and shared a word or two. It doesn't even have to relate to what I'm blogging about. Tell me a joke. Weather report? Dow Jones Industrial Average. Whatever works. It's all good.

Anyone?

the kissing part

So, after we get over the "step-parent" stigma I talked about here, Gage goes on to tell me that he is not looking forward to the whole "kissing part".

Should I go there? Of course! It goes something like this:

Mom: Well Gage, you don't have to get to the whole kissing part until you're much, MUCH older.

Gage: But I want to have kids so I guess I'm going to have to get married.

Mom: Right, but you have plenty of time.

Gage: And you can't have kids unless you get married. So I guess I'll get married.

Did NOT go there.

fairy tales

Gage and I were alone in the car today when he began reciting what turned into a family tree. It went something like this...

"Grandma & Grandpa are your Mommy and Daddy and Grammy & Poppy are Daddy's Mommy and Daddy..." and then he trailed off and stopped, knowing he was missing someone. Hmmm. Seems we've never actually explained to Gage why he has FIVE Grandparents.

So I went on to explain that when Daddy was a little boy, Grammy and Grandpa Howard decided that they just wanted to be friends and that they were not going to be married anymore.

To which Gage responds, "and then Grammy married Poppy." Bingo.

I go on to embellish (oye, why do I do this?) and I explain that technically Poppy is Daddy's "step-father" although he loves both Grandpa Howard and Poppy both very, very much.

The response I get from this one?

"But I thought step-parents were MEAN!"

Damn that Cinderella.

momdot (dot com)

Yup. I'm approved. And I went right on over and copy and pasted the seal to prove it. Have no idea what I'm talking about? From the ladies themselves...

MomDot is a mom blog listing site that is run by mommy bloggers, Trisha, Alicia, and Bridgette. They run contests weekly, reviews on awesome (and not so awesome) products for family and kids, and talk about their lives. But more importantly, they feature bloggers and mom boutiques to give them an avenue to get their names out there, also assisting in google links! You can head out and list your blog for free and talk to them about doing an interview about you. Head on over and see what MomDot is about!

You can find and the beat goes on... on Mom Blogs 7 or by clicking here.

who wears the pants in our family?

Well, apparently no one. I was just scrolling through the last week's worth of posts and realized that my children are in their underwear in nearly every photograph & video. I promise, we do own pants. Cute ones too. I supposed I should be happy that they were wearing underwear.

monday night football

Yes, I understand that today is Wednesday but these things take time. Apologies for the lack of pants and sofa cushions. One just can't prepare for every video-worthy moment properly.

Our little Gage has turned into quite the football fanatic. Poor dad is forced to sit on the sofa nearly all weekend while his five year old rants and raves about the intricacies of the game. College. NFL. Doesn't really matter. He's not picky. He seems to pick his teams by the color of the jersey, emblem on the helmet, higher score or any combination of the three. But I'll tell you what...he understands the game as well as I do if not better.

Monday afternoon around 4:30, after a weekend of football, he hit me up with, "Dad said there is a football game on tonight." Mind you, dad is at work so he remembered this from the day prior. So I check out the TV listings and sure enough, the Bills are playing the Browns at 5:30. I make Gage watch the clock and just as the kickoff is beginning we turn the game on.

These are just a few of the moments that I managed to capture while also cooking dinner and entertaining to his sister who loves Monday night football almost as much as I do.

hokey pokey

Just in case you feel like grooving today...

bah humbug?

If I had any inclination to decorate the house for the holidays or to trim a tree (which I do not, mind you) & if I had a couple extra hundred bucks to burn (which I also do not, mind you) then I would most definitely be snatching up some of these lovelies from anthropologie. I am publishing this in the event that someone else encounters one or more of the above mentioned symptoms but did not receive, or failed to open the new anthro catalog.

chirps & cheers holiday garland...


city girl, pixie, milkmaid, paper doll, dress form & sweater dress ornaments...

BBD

Have you heard of this? I hadn't until our family met an unbelievable big black greyhound rescue a few days ago.

It's called "big black dog syndrome" and it refers to the record numbers of big black dogs in animal rescue centers waiting for homes. Apparently there was a lot of media surrounding the phenomenon earlier in the year as most of the news articles from major publications I have just read were dated March or April of '08. Google it. It's even in Wikipedia. And in case you are too lazy to actually click on that link and scroll down for the proper paragraph...this is what it says...

Big black dogs (BBDs) are consistently the hardest dogs to place — even if they’re friendly, well trained, and in perfect health. This may be due to a number of factors, including fear stigma against certain breed types, attraction to ads and the fact that black dogs do not photograph as well as lighter coated ones, and the fact that black dogs are often portrayed as aggressive in film and on television. Organizations have started campaigns to educate the public about BBD syndrome.

So if you are considering rescuing a pet anytime soon I figured you could keep this in mind.

not me monday

I did not take my kids to a 9am flu shot appointment today and distract them with a baggie full of candy during the administration of the shots even after our pediatrician told Zuzu that she doesn't give out lollipops because they have "sugar bugs". Nope, not me. (Whatever. It worked.)

I have not recently switched from a grande latte to a venti latte every morning and I'm definitely not feeling the least bit guilty about it.

When asked this morning by Gage, "How come no one gives Santa presents?" I did not boldly compare myself to the jolly icon by responding, "Well, Santa is a lot like Mommy. We don't need presents. It makes us happy when you are happy."

And right now...I am definitely not sitting in the middle of my bed, in the pitch dark, with no intention of going to sleep (and no internet connection to actually post this yet) just to fool Zuzu into thinking that I am. Nope. I would never lie to my children. (Whatever. This seems to have worked too.)

What did you NOT do today?

creative riding

There are an awful lot of rules written on our trampoline as well as several we find ourselves repeating frequently that the kids have learned to live & jump by. Things like no shoes...no food...and one at a time is best but two are tolerated if you are gentle. But I had to give it to her. Nowhere, I mean nowhere, was it ever communicated to Zuzu that riding a plastic tractor on the trampoline might be a bad idea. And in fact, it really wasn't.

kitchen update

So it turns out that Gage is just as excited about the new kitchen as Zuzu. Almost more so in fact! He has just made me chicken AND eggs. So...the thirty minutes since my last post have taught me one important thing. (No, it's not that I was being sexist) What I have just learned is that any holiday kitchen gifts should not be given just to Zuzu but to both kids to share. Yes, share. While we hold our breath and hope for the best.