on the second night of hanukkah...

my true love gave to me,
two happy kids...
and some crazy christmas lights...


It's a family tradition to walk over to this house in Grandma's neighborhood which is dressed to the nines every Christmas...


Even Santa came out to join in the festivities this year.
When Santa asked Gage what he wanted for Christmas Gage immediately turned to me and said, "Where's that list?"
"Oh, I have it, 'Santa' replied...I just wanted to see if you remembered what you put on it!" Phew. Thanks, Santa.


The decorations are truly over the top...


Our little soldiers covet their goody bags provided by local high school students...


Even Frosty made it to the Florida wonderland...


Zuzu danced the night away...


People from all over the community come to gather at this well lit and welcoming home...


Not to be outdone, two of the neighbors made a feeble attempt to keep up...



Only in Florida.
I'm glad it's not my block but I wouldn't have it any other way.

not me monday

I did not begin composing today's "not me monday" in my head while lying sleeplessly in bed late last night and I have not completely forgotten all of the grand ideas I had then.

This is quite possibly because...I did not spend 10 hours in bed last night while the kids spent the night with their grandparents. Nope, not me. There are far too many other productive things I could have been doing.

This is quite possibly because the previous night...I did not go out with 9 girlfriends, drink far too much wine and end up in my pajamas all day yesterday.

I DO NOT sound like a stressed-out mom on a much needed vacation, do I?

happy hanukkah!

As we begin the festival of lights (and a week of presents) tonight I thought you might enjoy being reminded of this classic by Adam Sandler...

daddy's girl

This is my daddy, today is his birthday & we were lucky enough to be with him tonight to celebrate. Isn't that cool?
Notice the mickey mouse t-shirt he's sporting. Wonder where he got that?
I love my daddy and he is kind enough to read my blog every day.
He's gone to bed already and so should I but not before...
Happy Birthday Daddy!

disney diary

Still in a Disney haze and fresh out of the park, I figured I'd jot down a few musings while my 295 photos upload into kodak gallery. However, since it's 11pm on Friday night, I'm three hours off my time zone, I've just spent three days at an amusement park and "slept" with two kids in the same hotel room I am going to work in bullet format. Brain power limited. Must conserve.

1. Disney World is run like a freakin' machine. Not only are there people ushering you into the parking lot...but there is another pointing out the aisle...and as everyone gracefully & compliantly pulls into one parking space after another like a scene from a movie, there is another making sure you're parked just right in that space...and oops, no sooner are you out of the car and someone else tells you just where to walk.

Seriously, they appear out of nowhere like a computer graphics trick. Zuzu spills the popcorn and there is a broom under my feet cleaning it up before I can even grab the pail out of her hand. Was this just luck? I think not. This place, my friends, is a well oiled machine.

Sure there are lines but not because they are understaffed or inefficient. (Although it was quite fun to watch the three overly-friendly attendants at the Dumbo ride try to figure out what to do with the two empty elephants in the group ahead of us. Huddle. What to do? Do we run the ride with two empty cars? How could this have happened? Did someone run off with two of our orange color coded "boarding passes" that we use to herd people like cattle? Couldn't be! Or should we pull more people from the red "boarding pass" group to fill the empty seats? But that will lead to a chain reaction. What to do, what to do???) Truly. It was hysterical.

Needless to say, the whole experience started me thinking. There are some people that need to take a field trip to this magical land, pronto. The US government for one. All member of Congress. Yeah, they could learn a thing or two about efficiency and um, customer service maybe? In fact, I think all companies driven by customer service should ditch the August money-saving but still utterly expensive retreats to Scottsdale, Arizona and send all of upper management to a weekend at Disney World instead. Show them a little bit about how things are done in a seemingly recession proof fantasy land. Send 'em home happy, inspired, and with a pair of mickey ears to boot.

2. We are in a recession, right? Our family alone has lost about 40% of a portfolio that has taken us 40% of our lives to build. Retail sales are down everywhere even with all the additional markdowns and promotions thrown at us. People are fearful. So what do we do?...go to Disney World! Why not, it only costs $500 a DAY for a family of four in admission alone. And apparently we are not alone in our thinking. The place was mobbed. Kids are supposed to be in school (hey, we pulled ours of kindergarten, what's he really going to miss in four days?) & there are only 5 days of shopping & preparation before Christmas. Priorities people!

3. OK. This one is not so funny. But damn if it isn't true. Americans are really getting fat. It's one thing when you see an adult that has let it go a little but when you see little kids hefting all this weight around at age 5 it's terribly frightening. And I'm not talking just a few pounds or just a few people.

The fact that for three days straight my children ate nothing but chicken nuggets, french fries, chips & ice cream does not help the matter. And Scott and I did not fair much better. Of course, we were on vacation so we were pretty lax about the kids diet but I was truly horrified by the lack of healthy food options anywhere in the park. Horrified. This, of course, does not excuse the fact that some other parents can not control their children's diet and exercise outside the park but it just helped to amplify the epidemic. Or maybe they all just live there.

4. The Magic Kingdom is scary. Really. Even the rides you think are safe have somehow found a way to morph into a thrill ride. I get it, we were wrong to take a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 year old in the Haunted Mansion but Winnie the Pooh? Scared our five year old. He's still talking about it. Peter Pan? Why does it have to be so damn dark in there? Scary. The kids started to lose trust in us and we started to doubt our own judgment. But not before the Haunted Mansion, I'm afraid. We'll never live that one down.

Well, 156 of 295 photos have uploaded but I think that's it for me tonight. Plus, I really abhor bloggers that just ramble on and on and on...

not me monday

I have not been on the computer standing up for the last twenty minutes so that I do not get comfortable and perhaps um, stay here?...because I have not neglected to pack MY suitcase for our trip that begins in 13 hours. (of course I've packed everyone else's) And I certainly don't want to try to catch a few zzz's tonight before a 10 hour travel day with two lively children.

I did not have a fresh, pre-vacation mani & pedi today in a new color called "caviar dreams" expecting that it would be a lovely shade of blackish, blueish, grayish (sounds lovely, right?) only to have it look blackish greenish... which would actually make more sense...and is not lovely.

I did not wake up to a power-less house on Sunday morning, and without land lines or mobile phone functioning, proceed to confidently turn on the computer expecting to get internet access from our comcast wireless internet service. No way in hell. That would be so dumb.

And finally (I think), but most importantly, I am definitely NOT, in an attempt to spend some quality time with the family and enjoy a much needed vacation, going do my best to appear only in-frequently on my blog, your blog, facebook, twitter, etsy forums and all those other places I tend to roam for the next TWO weeks.

And, oops, one more. I do not, nope, do not, wish everyone a most joyous holiday and happy new year!

ho ho ho

What better way to welcome in the holiday season than to hang out at yup, you guessed it, the mall. Taking pictures with Santa...(please note that according to my five year old, this is not the "real" Santa, he is just some guy dressed up in a costume at the mall who reports back to the "real" Santa).


High fiving Santa because the hug that she wanted to give him turned out to be just a little too scary once they were actually face to face.


Sipping hot cocoa with whipped cream at Peet's. Zuzu's first hot cocoa experience which she actually had to be coaxed into...and certainly not the last. (Don't they really look alike here?)


Frog jumping at the mall playground. This is actually when the most entertaining part happened but I was too busy laughing out loud to capture it on film.

Zuzu kept getting in Gage's way as he was trying to jump the frog. Why wouldn't she? Her mission in life is to annoy him, right?

Anyway, he went over and tried to push her off the frog, while yelling at her, "Zuzu, get out of my way!" When from out of no where Santa appeared outside the gate (presumably taking a potty break) and shouted at Gage, (swear this is true) "Hey, be nice to your sister. Remember I told you that? Or I'll move you from the nice list to the naughty list."

He then turned and walked around the corner (towards the restroom). All the kids on the playground stared, the parents giggled and what did Gage do? He turned to me and said, "But Mommy, I want Santa to see me jump over the frog!". Nice.


What do you think? Is this advertisement alluring or what? My kids couldn't tell you what it was selling but doesn't it look like they want to climb in? It was more difficult to pull them away from this than Santa, the hot cocoa, or the playground. Go figure.

the big fat & jolly lie

If you've been keeping up this month you are aware that I struggle every time the subject of Santa Claus comes up in our house. I blogged about it here and here.

We tend to be very open and honest and my children speak their minds almost to a fault (like when Gage announced at a friend's dinner table last night that he really hadn't wanted to go there because the friend is no longer one of his classmates...and how was sad that his mom made him anyway...but that once he arrived and started playing he was very happy and thankful to be there).

But I digress. I was talking about Santa and the fact that HE IS NOT REAL. Anyway, today we spent hours playing with our magna tiles both with friends and after they left. Magna tiles are one of our single most favorite activities. The kids got two sets for Hanukkah last year. (Yes, we go both ways). Did I digress again?

Now, not only are magna tiles super fun...but the kids inevitably end up arguing about who has more and there are NEVER enough to go around. Reason being...they are also super expensive.

So, at the end of the night as we are brushing our teeth Gage starts in...
gage: maybe we could add more magna tiles to our Christmas list
mom: well sweetie, we already have magna tiles and they are very, very...
gage: I know, expensive (swear - he did this)
mom: yes, they are very expensive
gage: but they don't cost money for Santa
mom: (thinking, ok, he's got a point. theoretically)
mom: true, but Santa can't give you everything you want and we've already asked for quite a bit so let's just leave it at that

He was satisfied.
I, again, felt like a big fat liar.

stick to burgers mickey d's

A few lines from the Seattle Post article that accompanied this photo and that you can read here in it's entirety...

McDonald's has erected a billboard in sight of Starbucks headquarters declaring, "four bucks is dumb."

If Dunkin' Donuts' taste test commercials were the schoolyard equivalent of blowing spitballs at the coffee giant from afar, then the latest from McDonald's is like pulling a wedgie. Starbucks employees driving northbound can see the billboard on their way into the city.

Another billboard slogan jabs, "large is the new grande." The two phrases are displayed on 140 billboards in Western Washington, some of them near Starbucks cafes.

Hah. Done laughing. Just what I want from McDonald's, a limp salad & bad espresso. Stick to what you do best Mickey D's. Burgers, fries and free stuff for kids.

Now back to my $4.00 triple venti non-fat latte with one shot of mocha.

too many questions!

Tonight Gage asked me why it's called a "babysitter" if there are not any babies. Anyone? For lack of a good, on the spot answer, we have temporarily renamed Miss Amy a "zuzu-sitter".

admission of a facebook junkie

Do you facebook? Did you ever send or accept a facebook request to/from someone and then regret it later? Well if you answered yes to the first question then I imagine you answered yes to the second.

For the past few weeks I've really been getting annoyed by one of my facebook "friends". Their status updates were crude, rude and just plain ignorant. Every time I would open my page and see what they had posted it would make me crazy. There are enough relevant things in my life that make me crazy...I didn't need another one.

So, I'm proud to say that I did it. I un-friended someone today. Yup. Apparently they won't be informed. Unless, of course they look for me. Or, oh gasp, read my blog. Chances are slim.

If you are feeling the same way about a facebook "friend" I highly recommend the action. All you have to do is click the "x" next to their name. And poof. They're gone. Them and their stupid status updates.

not me monday

Can you believe it's Monday again? December 8th. Wow.

I did not choose do my grocery shopping at Safeway this morning for two reasons and two reasons only. 1. There is a Starbucks on the premises which means one less stop. 2. Zuzu really wanted to drive the car. You know, those unruly shopping carts dressed up like cars. Yeah, that one.

Nope. Not me.

While shopping at Safeway, I did not pay so little attention to my daughter, driving the obnoxious car, that when we finally ended up back at our car she had altered her outfit like this:




Yes, she has her socks on her hands, her boots are on the floor and her feet are bare...cold...and dirty. I suppose the only benefit here, in hindsight, is that her hands were protected from the germy steering wheel!

Nope. Not me.

What did you NOT do today?

victory is sweet

The Gators pulled it off in the fourth quarter and went on to beat Alabama 31 to 20, winning themselves the SEC Championship title and buying them a ticket to the National Championship game in Miami on January 8th. If you hadn't noticed, we bleed orange and blue in our house. Here the kids celebrate what ended up being the final touchdown of the game, securing our win. Sweet.

tgif

So here I sit. Friday night. Kids tucked safely in bed. Just finished up one of those true story football movies that inevitably makes you cry. Dunking my fake oreos in my fake (ok, skim) milk. Thinking about what in the world I can blog about before I go work into the wee hours of the night. Um, I mean before I get a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, no one thing is striking me as terribly entertaining, so let's try this approach...


Yes. I bought more snow gear. Today Gage received a hat, scarf and two turtlenecks from Gap Kids. Now I'm quite biased but really...How freakin' cute does this kid look?

Speaking of cute. Tonight while looking at picture books in bed with Zuzu I was completely blown away by the memory on this little girl.

We see a picture of a wheel barrow...
zuzu: wheelbarrow from Grandma's house...that was fun!
Ok, that was last December and she was not even 18 months old (right, mom?)

We see a picture of a watering can...
zuzu: we have that at my school...
mom: you have that at your school?
zuzu: yes, we water the carrots
mom: you used a watering can to water the carrots at school?
zuzu: yes, with maggie's mama
Um, ok? Apparently they are growing carrots.

We see a picture of a bee...
zuzu: Gage got stung by a bee
(pulls left foot out from under covers and points to exact spot on second toe where the stinger went in)
zuzu continues: He needed a penny
Ok, this was only a few months back but still. She knew which toe...and WHERE on the toe. And she remembered the penny that we used to try to neutralize the sting. I don't even remember her paying attention that day!

So I just went back and re-read those three paragraphs and realize they might not seem all that impressive to you. I think it might be one of those "you had to be there" moments but I'm in no mood to edit so we move on...

Funny story from a week or so back (my mom may not find it funny but)...
I was in the garage doing laundry when I return to Scott and Gage on the sofa half laughing at and half scolding Zuzu who is sitting alone at the kids table in front of the TV, peacefully coloring and chanting, "holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit". You get the picture. Could have been me. I won't deny it. But it certainly hadn't been that day. Or even that week probably. She just randomly pulled it out of her vocabulary bank and decided to say it over, and over, and over...

One last story and I'll shut up. Every Friday night we have pizza delivered. (Yes if you're an avid reader you will know that we had it Monday this week too but we're not going there). Every week the kids fight over the "thingy" as soon as the pizza arrives. The "thingy" is the plastic white thing in the middle of the pie that presumably stops the cheese from gushing around. Anyway, it can get ugly. But tonight, after a good 6 months of this ritual I open the door and the delivery guy says to me, "I brought you two thingys!" Now THAT is customer service. We got an extra thingy. For free.

And here's something to send you off with tonight. One of my facebook "friends" posted this tonight. Apparently it was just released three days ago. Yes, about 5-6 weeks LATE but quite entertaining still.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend.
tgif!

should I dare say it?

Are my children approaching independence? Am I really sitting on the computer with four children playing happily in this house...alone? How long can this last? Can I finish this post?.......yup.

treasure hunt

As most families with young children do I suppose, we have two toy drawers in our kitchen. They are filled with small whimsical items that don't seem to have any other sensible home, party favors & fast food restaurant prizes. (Yes, we enjoy our occasional McDonald's. Well, not "we" but you know what I mean.)

Tonight, as I was making cupcakes , see here the kids amused themselves for nearly an hour with the various junk we have accumulated over the years. Zuzu accessorized and Gage started a "treasure chest" for his amazing finds. And then I cleaned it all up when they got bored. Such is life.

I forgot to tell you...

Yesterday, after dropping off the husband at the bus and both kids at school I hopped on the 101 north and headed for Target. Oh yes, you knew that. Anyway, I drove an entire SEVEN minutes listening to the Backyardigans. Alone. Clueless. And mind you, their songs are only a minute or two long...which means I listened to at least three.

I happen to know that it was seven minutes because I looked at the clock when I left the pre-school. 9:06. Then, when I found myself jamming with Tasha, Tyrone, Austin, Uniqua & Pablo, I looked at the clock again. 9:13. Yes, that's what it takes for me to notice that I've forgotten to put on grown-up music. Singing along with the Backyardigans. Out loud. Alone.

This is not the first time this has happened. Oye.

hello, my name is kristi...

...and I am a target-aholic.

I went to target (and old navy) today to get a few items for Gage's upcoming snow boarding trip with dad. I left with this:



OK, not really. I actually bought the jacket and bib on the left two weeks ago.

Here is a shot a took from my phone the day I brought the jacket and bib home. He's pretending to be sledding on the wall-to-wall carpet.



I did, however, manage to bring home two fleece pullovers, two sweaters, two boots (a pair, ok?), a matching sporty jacket & pants, two t-shirts (not shown as they are not officially ski gear) one vest, two pairs of mittens, one pair of gloves...and a partridge in a pear tree.

Here's Zuzu modeling Gage's new boots. For some reason she is a far more cooperative model when it doesn't really count.

taking it literally

Mind you, this is not the first time this has happened but it is the first time I've blogged about it...and it gets me every time. It went something like this...

zuzu: can I have a treat now?
mom: no, you cannot have a treat now because you did not finish your dinner
zuzu: can I have a treat now?
mom: would you like to eat this carrot? then you can have a treat
zuzu: yes (takes a nibble and attempts to return carrot to mom)
mom: no, you need to eat the whole carrot
zuzu: (takes another bite and attempts to return carrot to mom)
mom: no, zuzu, I want you to make the entire carrot go away
zuzu: (headed to kitchen) can I throw it in the garbage?

not me monday

I am NOT sitting here blogging at the dinner table while the kids watch the Backyardigans and we all shovel pizza down our hungry throats. That would be severely bad parenting to neglect this close family time together.

I did NOT have pizza delivered on a Monday night after I spent the morning at Whole Foods ensuring that our cupboards were stocked because I lacked the creativity and energy to do anything but. (besides, we skipped our standing Friday pizza delivery this weekend due to the holiday so we were overdue)

I most definitely did NOT entertain the thought of fibbing to my fellow kindergarten parents to get out of this morning's obligatory lice check. I mean I HAD assumed that my dentist appointment conflicted until I checked the calendar and found out that it did not. (And for those inquiring minds just dying to know...we had our first 100% lice free check in three weeks...yippee...the buggers are presumably gone. For now.)

I did NOT reply to a soon-to-be six year olds birthday party last night by saying that Gage would love to attend...but that we might be a little late due to the conflict with the Gator football game. That would be terribly disrespectful. (Especially since I later learned from the birthday boy's father that the game is on Saturday and the party Sunday.) And I absolutely do NOT blame that blunder on Scott.

I am NOT completely baffled by Gage's recent football addiction nor am I NOT dreading the fact that Monday night football starts in 5 minutes...and he knows it.

What did you NOT do today?

Oh, and I did NOT just honor Zuzu's request and paint her right hand fingernails blue, her left hand fingernails pink, her right toenails pink & her left toenails blue. That would be a tad absurd.