wordless wednesday...again.

wordless wednesday

Zuzu jams to Barbie Island Princess on her new CD player.

but I'm allergic to mangos

Every year, in charming Coconut Grove, Miami, people gather for a satirical parade of sorts that pokes fun at current events and political figure heads. And yes, this year was full of people to poke fun at. The King Mango Strut originated 27 years ago when two men were denied participation in the Orange Bowl Parade. Instead of feeling bitter about it, they concocted quite an amusing display of talent. Nothing is sacred here. This year there was a Joe the Plumber Drill Team, a moose hunting Sarah Palin, a Foreclosure Fairy & of course, a barrage of shoe throwers. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see any of this because somehow I managed to get the honor of riding on the Little Miss Mango float with my little Miss & Little Mr and THE most annoying man in the world. I cringe even typing about it.

Talk about doing damage to a child with words. My sister in law was with me and I think we came to the conclusion that the man in question was NOT the father of the Little Miss Mango he accompanied. That is the only good news I can provide. See this little girl was dressed to the nines. Princess costume, wand, jewels, ballet slippers. The works. He was on that float for over an hour before it started to move to secure the best possible seat. (OK, this float, as you can see from the pix below, is a junky flat bed truck. There are no good seats.)

Anyway, the premise of this float is to judge the best Little Miss Mango. Each kid gets a crown, a wand and a sash. And then there is no judging and everybody wins. Even their five year old brothers. It's a joke. Like everything else in the damn parade.

Needless to say this man thought his little lady was the best thing since sliced bread. Really, he was as bad as that analogy. He was telling her things like.... "Oh, baby, everybody is here to see you. You are making everyone here so happy. You are definitely going to be on TV...look, you are on TV again. What do you want to wear when this is over?..I'll buy you anything you want so you can look pretty all day. Next year we'll bring my Mercedes and we'll lead the parade." Yeah. He did. And did I mention that she was about four and a half years old? Talk about the damage parents can do to their kids. It was like watching a really bad movie. Really bad.

tweet tweet

Seriously, twitter is way cool.

I joined twitter in an attempt to market zuzu girl handmade but I'm in a weird place there now that the business may be forced to close on 2/10/09 (thanks to the genius of the cpsc and their new cpsia). Nevertheless, I continue to be captivated by the marketing potential of social networking sites like twitter.

Sunday I posted a tweet about my stress with american airlines (to which I will not provide a link because I am still pissed off). Bam. An american airlines ticket agent contacts me with advice. Tonight I inquire about abandoning blogger and moving to wordpress. Bam. An Internet Marketing Consultant is right there tweeting back and offering his services.

Truly, I can only imagine what I might be able to do with this type of networking tool. And I will continue to imagine that success until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up...

not me monday

I am not not writing not me monday tonight because I didn't just write the longest blog post ever about our horrific travel experience. (wait, is that right? you tell me, I'm too sleepy!)
Night, night.

airline reservations for dummies

Assuming you are all caught up by now, (and if you are not please proceed promptly to last night's post before going any further), "airline reservations for dummies" is NOT a book I am currently reading, nor do I believe it exists. But quite frankly, it should.

I truly did not want to have to do this tonight. One, because American Airlines has stolen far too much time and sleep from my family in the past 36 hours and two, because I really didn't need any more aggravation from them. But, no, they go and force me into another late night rant. Grab a glass of something strong and take a seat. This, my friends, is good.

When I left you Sunday night we were preparing for bed. Scott & Gage were to arise the next morning at 6:10 and depart out of Miami, via LA and arrive safely back home by 1:00 in time for Scott to make his conference call and presumably ensuring their ability to catch their 10:30am flight back out of here tomorrow morning. Zuzu & myself would leave three hours later and travel the same route, our arrival not quite as dire as we're not leaving again tomorrow.

Now, I left a few minor details out of the story last night because at the time they were really just clutter and I was trying to make a simple point. Some of them, however, now become more relevant and this post is full of clutter.

There were actually six people involved in this mess as Grammy & Poppy were also booked on our original flight. Fortunately, Poppy is the executive platinum member that I mentioned earlier and received far more information from the airlines than we did. When we re-booked our flights through LA Poppy was to fly with Scott & Gage and Grammy was coming with us girls on the later flight.

After I blogged last night Scott & I went to bed. It was about midnight. The one room that we were all sleeping in was actually a carriage house that sits behind Grammy & Poppy's house. The kids were towards the front of the structure. Our bed sits directly adjacent to a small kitchen which sits at the far rear of the property. There is a back door in the kitchen that exits into the yard. No one EVER uses this door. Ever.

Out of a sound sleep I was awakened by the sound of someone coming through this kitchen door. So, what do I do? Do I wake Scott? Do I grab a sharp object? Nope. I swiftly roll out of bed, throw on my specs, and approach my intruder crawling in through the bottom half of the barn door face to face and half asleep.

In hindsight I am blown away that I didn't even consider what I was doing. I was terrified but I just charged. Thankfully, it was only Grammy. Now, what in the world was Grammy doing waking me up at 1am, not to mention scaring the you-know-what out of me? You'll never, ever guess.

Poppy had received an e-mail from American Airlines and was on the phone with them upstairs. I have no idea how it was worded but it was promptly explained to me that our original flight, yes, the one that we booked three months ago, paid full fare for and were callously booted from 8 hours earlier, had been reinstated. But not only that. It had been reinstated ONE HOUR after it had been canceled.

Now this is not hard math. It took us at least 90 minutes to re-book our tickets. This means that our original flight was back in the system before we were ever re-ticketed on the new flights. Not only that, but if the flight was reinstated at 4pm then it makes perfect sense that they notify him at midnight. Um, not. And, the only reason he even gets notified is because he is a preferred customer. Me, I get nothing. Nada. Oh, but wait, it gets better.

When Poppy calls to get us back on that flight he gets something like this, "I'm sorry, Mr. Executive Platinum, flies with us at least once a week dude, but you and your family simply can not get back on this flight. You already re-booked. We have no seats left."

I can only imagine what when on during that call. Fortunately, I was getting my only hour of sleep in the carriage house at the time. And fortunately, Poppy was able to get all six of us back on the flight (that departed in 6 hours). And, understandably, Scott & I gave away our two rows of A & B seats together for separated center seats. Because that makes sense.

But does this? Not so sure. I'm sleepy. Will need to go back and read tomorrow.

Needless to say, when we arrive at the airport ticket counter we request seat changes so that Scott & I can each sit with one child. Not asking for all four together (LIKE WE HAD IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE), just for two and two. The woman looks at us like we're crazy and after we both nearly lose it she obliges but we are each stuck with a center and aisle and Scott's is the last row of the plane next to the bathroom. Yum.

Oh, and did I mention that the flight is oversold, there is a standby list AND they are taking volunteers to be bumped for cash vouchers. I'm sorry, why would you pay to bump people just to pick up new people who could just fly on the flight that you're bumping the first people to? What am I missing?

But, there's more.

We proceed on board and take our seats. The doors close and the last four passengers straggle on. I recognize the woman in the group. She was ahead of us in line at the ticket counter. Yeah, ahead of us. She and I both know it but I'm sitting with my 2 year old and guess where she's supposed to be sitting? Uh-huh. So she throws a fit that someone is in her seats but my baby girl and I ain't goin' nowhere. And we don't. They happen to find four seats scattered throughout the plane. Yeah, the overbooked, bumping people from the plane, plane has four open seats. She complains at little more that her family (of four capable adults mind you) can't sit together but finally they take their seats.

We take off, land, and here I sit. Wondering how we've allowed people to treat us like this. Truly. My mom says I should write a letter to the CEO. She says it in jest but I know she's serious. The sad thing is, I know the effort would be futile. These nightmare travel experiences happen to people every day. How many, I don't know. Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands? And many I'm sure much worse than ours. The question is how did we get to this point, where the airlines have such control that is just expected that they will act with stupidity and disrespect?

Will I fly American again? Do I really have a choice? Therein, lies the problem. And it's still not OK.

dear american airlines

You are rude, inconsiderate and mean....and if those are all synonyms, well that's just ok because you are all of them. I still cannot fathom how you have the power to send a cheesy automated recording to my cell phone just 15 hours before our return flight home telling us that our flight had been canceled. Oh, and by the way, if I wanted to reschedule I could say the word "agent" and get put on hold for ten thousand hours. Really?

And you can't possibly be serious when you offer us absolutely no realistic alternatives for a family of four with two young children and executive platinum status. Did you actually expect us to fly from miami to dallas, arrive at midnight, spend the night at dallas (for which we would have to find and pay for the hotel room on our own), fly to southern california bright and early and then catch a third flight back home? When we paid good money for a round-trip, direct flight? The Monday after a holiday weekend you do this? Really?

Please note that this is my simple, tired and pissed off version of "dear american airlines". There is an actual book Dear American Airlines by Jonathan Miles which was written far more eloquently. I'm ironically about half-way through and it's sitting bedside back in San Francisco. Sadly, my pitiful tale is fact...and his million dollar novel is mere fiction. Well, sort of.

Wish us luck. We fly in pairs on two separate flights through LA tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be writing any more hate mail to american airlines tomorrow night.

did I really say that?

I admit, I have quite a few parenting pet peeves, most of which I normally keep very well to myself. One, for instance, I hear a lot. It sounds something like this, "Just wait until I tell your father" or "Your father is not going to be happy". You know. You've heard it too.

This one always really irked me. I mean, why does mom not have enough clout to discipline on her own? What power does dad have that mom doesn't? I swear, I've never said anything close. Until last night.

See, we're on vacation and the four of us are staying in one large room. Scott was out with some friends and it was time to go to sleep. Gage was exhausted and comfortable in his bed, but Zuzu was sitting up in hers whining repeatedly, "But I don't want to sleep". You know, that drawn out "waaaannnntttt"? So annoying.

I tried bribing her. I tried threatening her. I stayed calm. I got mad. Nothing. I felt so badly for Gage who didn't say a word but I knew was trying to get to sleep. Finally it just came out. I honestly have no idea exactly what I said but in effect it was, "I'm going to tell Daddy that you wouldn't go to sleep and he's going to be mad."

And then. She went to sleep. Just like that. It worked. Talk about bittersweet.

and on the seventh night of hanukkah...

...things started to get a little outta hand.
Please feel free to vote for your favorite Hannah Montana look-a-like now.
zuzu...

dad...

poppy...

grammy...

mom...

or prego...

the santa chronicles continue...

Five year old inquiring minds need to know. How is it that our family gets so many presents for Christmas when less fortunate families get only a few? He's wondering because it's unjust, yes, but also because that would make Santa partial to some families over others and even I can't explain that one. Anyone?

four friends...three decades later.

I don't usually post boring pictures of myself here but I after doing a little math this afternoon, and consequently feeling a little old this evening, I've decided this cool enough to share with everyone.

I have known two of these women for 33 years, and the other a mere 27. We now hail from California, New York, New Jersey & Miami but today we gathered at my mom's house to celebrate Christmas together. We reminisced about R movies we used to watch after my mom went to sleep, giggled at the glasses in my mom's cupboards that have yet to be upgraded (but you can bet will now) & divulged names of old classmates we've "ignored" on facebook. We compared teaching strategies in our kid's schools, made suggestions for what I may actually do for a living some day & made far too many plans to get together in the future.

I just wanted to acknowledge these awesome women and I wanted to thank them. Not just for the overflowing bags of gifts that they arrived with for my entire family, but for their unrelenting friendship. Fact is, we go months, and even years without connecting but I know they will appear on my doorstep (or my mom's which is a heck of a lot closer) and I will feel like not a day, or a month, or two dozen years have come between us.
And that's a good feeling.

you know your day is a success when...

...your child passes out cold while sitting at the dinner table...at 6:30. She just closed her eyes and started falling forward. Classic Christmas dinner.

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night!

santa rocks

Oh, to be five again on "Christmas morning".
You think he liked the gift?

wordless wednesday

well almost wordless...

I'm pretty sure neither manufacturer would recommend this particular use for their product but it was definitely as much fun as it looks!

twas the night before christmas...

Well, sort of. We're celebrating Christmas tomorrow at Grandma's house due to the fact that we have to leave on the 26th. This gives the kids an extra day to enjoy their gifts before we travel on. So tonight, in our house & as far as our children are concerned, is the night before Christmas.

Grandma just tucked Gage into bed and the conversation went something like this...

Gage: is it going to be a short night?
Grandma: you are not getting up while we are still sleeping or you are going to have some cranky grown-ups tomorrow!
Gage: but why would anyone be cranky when they are getting all those toys?!

Now I must go and hang the stockings with care...
So, Merry Christmas to all...
And to all a good night!

on the second night of hanukkah...

my true love gave to me,
two happy kids...
and some crazy christmas lights...


It's a family tradition to walk over to this house in Grandma's neighborhood which is dressed to the nines every Christmas...


Even Santa came out to join in the festivities this year.
When Santa asked Gage what he wanted for Christmas Gage immediately turned to me and said, "Where's that list?"
"Oh, I have it, 'Santa' replied...I just wanted to see if you remembered what you put on it!" Phew. Thanks, Santa.


The decorations are truly over the top...


Our little soldiers covet their goody bags provided by local high school students...


Even Frosty made it to the Florida wonderland...


Zuzu danced the night away...


People from all over the community come to gather at this well lit and welcoming home...


Not to be outdone, two of the neighbors made a feeble attempt to keep up...



Only in Florida.
I'm glad it's not my block but I wouldn't have it any other way.

not me monday

I did not begin composing today's "not me monday" in my head while lying sleeplessly in bed late last night and I have not completely forgotten all of the grand ideas I had then.

This is quite possibly because...I did not spend 10 hours in bed last night while the kids spent the night with their grandparents. Nope, not me. There are far too many other productive things I could have been doing.

This is quite possibly because the previous night...I did not go out with 9 girlfriends, drink far too much wine and end up in my pajamas all day yesterday.

I DO NOT sound like a stressed-out mom on a much needed vacation, do I?

happy hanukkah!

As we begin the festival of lights (and a week of presents) tonight I thought you might enjoy being reminded of this classic by Adam Sandler...

daddy's girl

This is my daddy, today is his birthday & we were lucky enough to be with him tonight to celebrate. Isn't that cool?
Notice the mickey mouse t-shirt he's sporting. Wonder where he got that?
I love my daddy and he is kind enough to read my blog every day.
He's gone to bed already and so should I but not before...
Happy Birthday Daddy!

disney diary

Still in a Disney haze and fresh out of the park, I figured I'd jot down a few musings while my 295 photos upload into kodak gallery. However, since it's 11pm on Friday night, I'm three hours off my time zone, I've just spent three days at an amusement park and "slept" with two kids in the same hotel room I am going to work in bullet format. Brain power limited. Must conserve.

1. Disney World is run like a freakin' machine. Not only are there people ushering you into the parking lot...but there is another pointing out the aisle...and as everyone gracefully & compliantly pulls into one parking space after another like a scene from a movie, there is another making sure you're parked just right in that space...and oops, no sooner are you out of the car and someone else tells you just where to walk.

Seriously, they appear out of nowhere like a computer graphics trick. Zuzu spills the popcorn and there is a broom under my feet cleaning it up before I can even grab the pail out of her hand. Was this just luck? I think not. This place, my friends, is a well oiled machine.

Sure there are lines but not because they are understaffed or inefficient. (Although it was quite fun to watch the three overly-friendly attendants at the Dumbo ride try to figure out what to do with the two empty elephants in the group ahead of us. Huddle. What to do? Do we run the ride with two empty cars? How could this have happened? Did someone run off with two of our orange color coded "boarding passes" that we use to herd people like cattle? Couldn't be! Or should we pull more people from the red "boarding pass" group to fill the empty seats? But that will lead to a chain reaction. What to do, what to do???) Truly. It was hysterical.

Needless to say, the whole experience started me thinking. There are some people that need to take a field trip to this magical land, pronto. The US government for one. All member of Congress. Yeah, they could learn a thing or two about efficiency and um, customer service maybe? In fact, I think all companies driven by customer service should ditch the August money-saving but still utterly expensive retreats to Scottsdale, Arizona and send all of upper management to a weekend at Disney World instead. Show them a little bit about how things are done in a seemingly recession proof fantasy land. Send 'em home happy, inspired, and with a pair of mickey ears to boot.

2. We are in a recession, right? Our family alone has lost about 40% of a portfolio that has taken us 40% of our lives to build. Retail sales are down everywhere even with all the additional markdowns and promotions thrown at us. People are fearful. So what do we do?...go to Disney World! Why not, it only costs $500 a DAY for a family of four in admission alone. And apparently we are not alone in our thinking. The place was mobbed. Kids are supposed to be in school (hey, we pulled ours of kindergarten, what's he really going to miss in four days?) & there are only 5 days of shopping & preparation before Christmas. Priorities people!

3. OK. This one is not so funny. But damn if it isn't true. Americans are really getting fat. It's one thing when you see an adult that has let it go a little but when you see little kids hefting all this weight around at age 5 it's terribly frightening. And I'm not talking just a few pounds or just a few people.

The fact that for three days straight my children ate nothing but chicken nuggets, french fries, chips & ice cream does not help the matter. And Scott and I did not fair much better. Of course, we were on vacation so we were pretty lax about the kids diet but I was truly horrified by the lack of healthy food options anywhere in the park. Horrified. This, of course, does not excuse the fact that some other parents can not control their children's diet and exercise outside the park but it just helped to amplify the epidemic. Or maybe they all just live there.

4. The Magic Kingdom is scary. Really. Even the rides you think are safe have somehow found a way to morph into a thrill ride. I get it, we were wrong to take a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 year old in the Haunted Mansion but Winnie the Pooh? Scared our five year old. He's still talking about it. Peter Pan? Why does it have to be so damn dark in there? Scary. The kids started to lose trust in us and we started to doubt our own judgment. But not before the Haunted Mansion, I'm afraid. We'll never live that one down.

Well, 156 of 295 photos have uploaded but I think that's it for me tonight. Plus, I really abhor bloggers that just ramble on and on and on...